Website Renovation
You may have noticed everything’s disappeared, except for my one memorabilia of graduation.
That’s because this site is currently undergoing ‘maintenance’ and a revamp.
Stay tuned, folks.
South Seas Graduation
So how about that graduation?
Pretty mint huh?
Graduation was easily the BEST South Seas thing I’ve been to all year, so much so that it inspired me to ramble my first blog!
I’ll admit it, I don’t know if any of you fellahs could tell, but I was so excited! I had NO idea if I graduated or not, and with my daddy and mommy popping along to see the graduation I had the thrill of anticipating a big fat FAIL!
Let me recount for you how the fantabulous day went for me:
Being without a car, I was waiting for the ever reliable and wonderful person known as Nathan. Half an hour past the time I thought he was picking me up, I got worried and rung his number. Strangely enough, the phone picked up, yet apparently had done so of it’s own volition seeing as no one responded to my hello. There was however a lot of curious noises that sounded almost like sniggers.
Well.
Nathan and Sam, my two bestest buddies showed up and took me to the graduation Bruce Mason Theatre place.
When paying that silly little judas of a parking booth it’s thirty silvers, I got an inappropriate thrill to see none other than Valkyrie and Ebony Sparrowhawk also, by some strange coincidence alongside us. It was still 12:00, and at least forty-five minutes before grad started. Obviously I wasn’t the only one over-excited!
First person I saw, or rather, noticed, Cupcake Courtney, who not only failed to point out where the fabled free food was being hidden, but had the gall to NOT introduce me to her wonderful mother. A lady to whom much congrats and sympathy must be extended for trying to raise such a mess.
Right! Still thirty minutes to go!
I was totally in the zone, I was getting right into that graduation groove! Yeah, baby!
I knew what had to be done. I was on a mission, I wandered aimlessly about, until by sheer fortuitous chance I met Courtney and her mother, who pointed me to a SUIT HIRE!
Woot! Responding to Nathan’s dare, I in fact did purchase that suit! Booyah! But you guys knew that already.
Peeps showed up, and it was a medley of mayhem with familiar faces floating about, and it’s really ridiculous for me to try and list them, so I am in fact tempted to try. Hey! I saw a fellah that I’m positive used to go to my college! I can’t remember his name, but I have the suspicion that Tane does, so I’ll have to get the word up from the Tane Huata.
Crowd gathered inside. Because this was of course the one day that I was without a camera belted to my waist, I spent the rest of the waiting time hugging people I knew (or didn’t, but were female), and throwing my mug into as many photos as I could. I’m especially proud of the Triad Gang photo I am now immortalised in.
Scott, as well as several other people to be honest, seemed to be absolutely stunned to find me attached to a suit. It was the first time I had done so. I was feeling ridiculously clean, and was possessed of an insane desire to get a haircut and shave. But I decided to go for the normal hair, and stubble, trying to go for that ‘groom-that-realised-he’s-about-to-lose-his-freedom-to-a-woman-and-wisely-ditched-the-wedding-to-pursue-a-bottle-for-three-days’ look. I think I succeeded somewhat.
I think I did a fair justice to the Keanu Reeves thing I had going on with those glasses, and thank you Max for those by the way. Nothing better than buying things off drunk people with more beer, the discounts just get better with every purchase.
The clearest memory of that early start to the day was Mr. Oliver Pettit coming back with a big goofy grin on his face, (and let’s be honest, anything attached to his face is by definition goofy), bragging quite justifiably about being the proud recipient of a Jordon Hug.
Not to be outdone, I immediately launched into a mission of Jordon Hug Hunting. Surprisingly, she was more difficult to locate than I imagined, even though apparently after much agonising over the high-heels/no high heels conundrum that plagues every girl before a formal do, Jordon had chosen to come as Le Femme Fatale in ravishing red. And so that, Jordon is what prompted the first hug! The rest was just me seeing how many I could get before the night passed away, and it was a Once-In-A-Graduation opportunity!
Then my p-diddy Parents showed up, and the graduation was on!
That theatre was insane! You guys saw it, you were there, you know what I mean! I was expected grad day to be like that first day of inception, with free sausages and a whole bunch of chairs scattered outside in assembly formation. You remember that day? The day you had to pay some money in the hat for cultural purposes?
Anyway, graduation was fun. I enjoyed in particular Brooke’s choice of attire for the stage. I had a great spot picked out.
I had a spot of unexpected anxiety when up on stage, possibly the first time for since I can remember, seeing that I was in front of my parents. What if no-one clapped for me?!! What if everyone actually hates me and the WHOLE theatre is dead silent as I go up? My own parents would disown me after that.
But you guys were wonderful, and heralded me with a lovely bit of enthusiasm which was a heart warming experience.
Yes, I realise I took the LONGEST out of anyone to get across that damn platform, but I was determined to milk the hugs and the final words dammit.
I got the greatest laugh when we watched trailers and mine came up, for one thing, it’s embarrassing (for me) to see yourself on screen, believe me it wasn’t something I wanted, but I absolutely loved the reaction to the punch. Kudos to my Master Editor, the ONE the ONLY Kyyyyyyyyyyyyyyylos Williams! *Thunderous applause*
Immediately after the grad, I found my way to a pair of lovely young ladies, Valkyrie and Ebony, who were doing a fantastic job of distracting my mind from important issues, such as food. Scott was there too, possibly not quite as lovely, but a lotta affection for the Morangutan nonetheless! Miss ya buddy!
Gave the girls a cuggle, resisted the impulse to throw myself on Scott and confess undying love, and made my way out to meet my parents and humbly tell them that I am the greatest thing ever to walk the earth for getting my diploma. This is for you, Dennis!
Weird things happened immediately after the grad, for some reason I found myself posing for nude shoots with Valkyrie… or was that overeager imagination? Either, or, it worked for me.
I was devastated to find out that the free food I was so eagerly anticipating was of mythical substance only, a cruel cruel joke to a boy who had starved himself simply for that experience.
People cleared out. Parents left. Time to find the pub!
I believe we (I had temporarily joined the bowling gang, Tane, Kris and Peter) were looking for The Grange, in the wrong direction, typically. Thanks Sean! But we found another Monteith’s place and several South Seas peeps. On the way I took the time to notice three gorgeous girls walking my way, *cue the song: WALK THIS WAY!* and you three (you know who you girls are) looked great! I’ll never see you again, so I can say this safely without fear of reciprocal love. It was a very day defining moment for me.
I have been debating the insertion of smileys into this blog. It’s that debate of different literary qualities. We all know that smileys in a text automatically decrease the class of the text itself, however it very succinctly expresses the appropriate feeling and emotion. I think I shall push the boundaries of safely respectable text boundaries by adding the following: 
I think I can get away with that.
Michael showed me and Nate a video that was apparently of classic quality, and not surprisingly starred Henry on the night of Courtney’s birthday I believe. He seemed to be by himself in a carpark, apparently extolling of the virtues of a certain Sarah-Jane Graham. It looked like something Peter would have made. You’re a popular girl, Snowflake. 
Henry you are one of the most entertaining drunks I have ever seen, Drunk Henry is comparable to a Drunk Lydia, it’s always gold.
Shannon and Mon Cherie you know you guys are always high up on my list of awesomeness. 
Amber was in fact so kind and gracious as to actually give me a hug of her own volition, it was a great hug too. Unfortunately, that marked the end of any show of affection from her, I’ve discovered that Amber is very much a hug-on-her-own-terms kinda gal. I can’t count the times I tried to get a hug from her at school, and failed miserably. Very unprofitable enterprise.
She did it this time because in her own words: “I hugged Chris Pretty, so I might as well hug the scum of the earth.”
I thought that was damn decent of her.
I met the girl behind counter, and true to Sean’s word, Jade was a lovely nineteen year old girl that said without prompting that I looked very sharp. I promised her that I would see her when I got my next beer, a promise unfortunately I had to break because the group of South Seas decided to move on when my beer was only half finished and I didn’t know where The Grange was. You guys (and girls) totally cock blocked me.
Okay, it has to be said here. Amber’s mum is totally awesome. If it came down to a full on brutal street fight between Amber and her mum, I’d totally have her mum’s back. Sorry Amber, but your mum is top of the pops.
The Grange (is that the name?) was great! Possibly the best time I’ve ever had in a pub to be completely honest, and that is completely due to the company of people.
For some reason, I found myself with an embarrassing amount of affection welling up in me for everyone and everything. Affection, like many things, is something that shouldn’t be shown in public!
I’m sure I just rolled around from person to person, I basically was locked into a permanent hug, and simply swapped out the people that happened to be in my arms. And when I say people, I don’t just mean girls. Richie, Max, Tonci and many more suffered from my affections.
Someone asked me how many beers I had had at that point, and I honestly couldn’t answer. I don’t count how many beers I have any more, I just count the amount of times I hit the ground.
So far, none. The night was going well.
Kerri, you are an absolute angel. I have never felt so loved as I did in those scant hours of carnal delight I enjoyed in your arms, that memory shall abideth with me till the end of days.
This night rolled me up in a big silly bundle of love.
Joytika, you know you’re my sis. Totally sincere when I said that.
Sarah, you were absolutely lovely as well, you totally made a gentle man out of me when you said you’d miss me. I was honestly touched. My only regret is that I’ll never get to hug or pick you up again.
I made many trips to that bar, enough so that I got to know the people behind the bar pretty well, one of them was going to be on Yogi Bear as an actor. I am also afraid to look at my bank account right now, but no matter how broke I am, how abused my wallet was by my friends, it was totally worth it cos I love you guys.
Max, need to have a chat about work!
Dave, I’ll never forget what you said to me, man! I’m totally ranking number one on your list! Facebook me man if there any work you could point out for me. (In the film industry, I don’t want to go back to prostitution, man!)
One of the first orders of business when I arrived at the bar was to scope out Vanessa with the discount stamp. I hadn’t paid my $2, but me and Ness are tight so I knew she’d hook me up. Actually she hooked everyone up, but I’d like to think I was special.
I spilled beer on my suit at least once every time I bought one, but it was a fabulous material that absorbed it without trace or complaint. Someone, SOMEONE actually stole one of my Heinekens (they had no tuis)! I was totally betrayed!
It was at this point that I noticed that Nathan had not migrated with us to The Grange, something which was keenly disappointing as not only is my bestest buddy, he was also my ride home. Well, the bonus about getting slam faced drunk is sometimes you get home without any idea how it happened, only to be informed you walked the four hours it took to get there. Callum, you’re a star. Goes without saying.
Matty gave me a beer though, it tasted strangely sweet, which made me suspicious of drugs, but despite my strong anti-drug taboo I’d never get angry at Matty, I assumed he thought I was into it like many others seem to. There can’t have been any though cos it made no difference to me, it was just sweet.
I CANNOT write this blog without mentioning Douglas Clifford-MARSH and the ever effervescent Matthew Mills! Nothing in particular prompted that, just wanted to mention them. A bit of product placement.
I tried to hug every person I could see, absolutely abused Courtney with it who tried to BLACKMAIL ME WITH IT! Said she’d only hug me if I bought her a beer. I thought that the most disgusting, debased, immoral piece of linguistic foul I had ever heard! So I bought her a drink.
The rest of that do at the The Grange was some scintillating conversations with the tutors, wishing that Valkyrie and Ebony had come with Scott so I could inflict myself on more people.
Jordon, I apologise PROFUSELY for my excess of huggling. What can I say? I’m a huggler. It’s an addiction. I’m sure you won’t judge me for being what I am.
I spotted the Sarah-Jane Graham socialising in her floopy fashion at the tables and tossed up the risks of trying to mosey my way around the barrier to give her a hug, or do it RIGHT THERE through the barrier, or get another beer.
I settled for pulling out one of my most DEVASTATING girl-attracting techniques, the hair tweak. Some of you know what it is, the rest of you (unless you’re insanely stoopid) can guess fairly accurately.
The olde hair tweak must have worked, cos when I gracefully took a moment to peruse my environment once more (and steady myself on the rail), SJ was giving me two very large doey eyes.
I had my dark glasses on, but if they were off, it would have been an enchanting bit of eye-rape going on.
I flicked her my oh-so-cool pistol shot. Oh yeah. I was slick.
Once again, I was forced to consider options. One: Slide my way on over and engage in a bit of shameless flirtation on the off chance that her attraction for me had improved since Pierre’s parteh and I could score a hook up that night , and two… that beer beckoned to me.
Beer was closer. Round 2 went to the beer.
I figured I could come back later and get that hug, but I don’t think I did. 
I’m devastated, SJ!
I won’t lie. I’m as smooth as butter at the worst of times, and this night was no exception. Walking past, I threw salacious winks to people in the crowd, pistol shooting, doing that whole I’m-Kissing-The-Air-But-It’s-Actually-Directed-At-You thing… then I saw Sarah. Laughing. Whenever I see her at a party, she always LAUGHS AT ME! Nothing is more demoralising than showing up to a party and getting laughed at! My face is obviously hilarious to her, and she has NO compunction against letting everyone know about it! So cruel.
I tried to see how many girls I could get away with kissing (on the cheek), I only distinctly remember kissing Karina… a few times actually… And Cass as well. Soz Cass, you’re a gorgeous girl, can’t blame a guy for trying.
Also remember being on the verge of giving Maddy a kiss, but managed to remember in time that she had a boyfriend. My memory is so inconvenient like that sometimes.
I remember that Kerri gave me a kiss on the cheek. Did I mention she’s an angel?
If I kissed anyone else (innocently or otherwise) you’ll have to remind me cos I don’t remember. I’m sure that my night was pretty innocent though. If I had a philosophy, it’d probably go something like this:
‘I’d Rather Have Friends than F**k’s, and Prefer Sisters to S**ts.’
(Censored it, cos somehow it didn’t feel appropriate to commit to word bombing. )
But that was not the entirety of main sequential events in that pub.
By the way, did you girls get a TV in your bathroom? There was one in the dude’s one, and by the look of the floor it hadn’t helped the average’s bloke’s aim. Keep Your Eye On The Prize, aye Ness?
Instead of buttering up SJ, I found myself, hilariously enough, slathering Natalie Potaka Abel in creamy excess… You all have dirtah minds!
I loved it, there’s nothing better than getting free license to flirt with a lesbian, (not to mention I just love the sound of a ‘crooked girl’) cos you can say whatever you like and know that there’s no way it’ll be taken seriously. Dream come true.
Actually I was rocking out with Nat since the start I think; love ya all to bits Nats.
Well after The Grange, the final venue would be Trent’s house! The bashful boy was about to have a birthday, and his awesomely located flat happened to be on the same street.
His flat was the greatest way to finish off the night. That Chilli Con Carne was DEVASTATING! It felt like my tastebuds were having a full on group orgy on my tongue and letting me watch, it was GREAT!
I hadn’t hit the floor yet, but I did manage to find the glass wall. Whoever invented the glass wall should DIE! I stood there for several moments, trying to understand the universe, while Trent’s family sympathised with my woes and tried to cheer me up by pissing themselves laughing.
They were kind enough to guide me to the door handle every time I tried to navigate that tricky transition between inside and outside, very considerate of them. I’m sure. By the way Trent, view on that balcony is awesome! Pubs and randos everywhere!
Plenty of peeps were here too. I was enormously entertained by watching Courtney bounce from boy to boy like a rabid bunny. Stopping to confide in that animation dude with the longish dark hair (what IS his name?) that she likes being with him best because he’s the only one that does it right for her. Not too long after, I saw her emerging from the room where the hook ups were happening.
I defy you to challenge this, Courtney!
It was a nice wrap up to the day, many conversations of varying and interesting nature, and I got to hug Hayley for the second time! And everyone knows that a second hug is like a second date, it’s time to up the ante. I very smoothly dropped the line.
“Soooo… you’re Christian? Me too!”
This is possibly the worst thing to get a chick to believe as a prelude to whatever you have in mind.
Heh, actually all I had on my mind was getting a hug, but I just wanted to somehow relate both me and Hayley to the subject of dating.
I gave my tearful farewells to everyone I could find in the form of hugs, (don’t think Jordon cared too much at this point, but Dawn was lovely), got the final word from the man himself, Matthew Mills! Can’t say his name without a ! after it. It’s blasphemy. Miss ya too, buddy! I know you’ll miss me too Levi, even though you tried to affect a disinterested I-Shouldn’t-Have-Eaten-That-Last-Pizza look.
So at roughly twelve, I found a ride with a man of sterling quality, none other than Callum Lister. Afterwards he gave me a lift back home too.
Ba-DISH!
And that gentlemen and ladybirds, sums up the night!
If you’ve actually read this, not only would I flip in astonishment, but am so impressed with your stamina that I would possibly offer to bear your children. But believe me, if I tried, this blog could easily have been twice as long, or half… but editing goes against the whole philosophy of blogging doesn’t it? I don’t know. I’m not cyber savvy.
Dawn, thanks for the love, I am SO looking forward to being an uncle. Was hanging out with my family today, trying to book a time for Avatar, totally awesome. I’ll give it another two weeks, Krystal is so pregnant she’s just about horizontal standing up.
So guys… this is my cue to dim the lights, assume centre stage and spotlight, and give you my final farewell.
That graduation, plus this blog, are two of the only places that I have ever admitted to big love for anyone so this is a BIG moment! Possible breakthrough!
Love you guys, will miss you guys, especially you bastards going back overseas, so keep in touch with facebook. And if anyone wants to do anything, anytime, anywhere, whether it’s film stuff, a movie, or a trip to the beach, facebook it and I’m there!
Endo Speecho.
As Mike Dick Beck would say.
Well.
Adios, amigos.